Habits and Rituals

If I’d had my wits about me I would have been a little more talkative at my Mum and Dad’s fiftieth wedding anniversary, I may have even made a speech.

I would have said how great it’s been getting to know them, particularly over the last few years. How I’ve found less and less not to like about them. Less to disagree on and so much to admire.

I would have thanked my Mum for helping save my marriage and I would have said how living in a different Island to Dad did amazing things for our relationship and that we were now mates.

I would have told a couple of funny stories. Definitely the one where Dad shot himself in the face with a fire extinguisher after standing before a burning car reading the instructions on the canister and still managing to point it the wrong way. I can still see him blinking the powder out of his eyes.

I would have said how I thought every family rushed outside every time they heard a plane flying by. That all Dads new everything about aero planes. How I thought all dads loved their wives and never yelled at them or raised a hand to their ladies.

I would have said that at one stage I had thought that every family went to church. That every family ate as much mutton as us and that it was normal to lead a chicken on a leash. 

There were traits that ran through our family’s core, qualities and rules to live by. Habits and rituals.

I used to think every kid had hand knitted jerseys and access to fresh baking.

I can’t remember the time and place where I realized that my family where a little different, but I’m glad we were.

I know so many people who have put up with so much shit that they needn’t have had to. I had it good. I was warm, well feed and loved.   

I learned about God growing up, I heard the stories and I read the book. Later in life I went onto study and experience more. I would have to say though that I understand less now than I ever did, some would say that’s exactly how it should be.  

I would probably agree.

At some stage I’m going to have to sit down with both my son and my daughter and tell them that our family’s life wasn’t exactly normal either.

It will mean different things for both of them. For Jasper, I’ll being trying to explain to wee boy who’s brain works differently than most of the people he knows that his brain works differently. Ruby will have probably already figured out that most families aren’t like ours.

Most families don’t live in this form of organized chaos.

Most brothers don’t sing Rick Astley songs to passing cars from the front lawn. That although her mum and I often yelled and cried we always did and never gave up trying to raise her and her brother the best we could.  We loved them equally through our struggles and have lost none of the determination we had to encourage them, feed, cloth, love them and serve them.