Context Part 1

Ever been at the beach tried to walk exactly in someone else's footprints? Ever tried to match their stride, the angle of their feet? It’s an extremely hard thing to do its uncomfortable and unnatural.

However heading in same direction and reaching the same destination isn’t that difficult.

Does it matter how far apart your steps are or how fast to you decide to go, so long as you head in the right direction.

People less capable than you or I have climbed mountains, crossed deserts and even the poles on this principle alone.

One of the hardest lessons we have to learn even as an adult is to not compare ourselves to others, it’s ok to be inspired by other people and try to replicate their qualities in our lives. But when we fall into the trap of trying to live up to our image of who we think they are we will always fall short and be disappointed.

It’s really a recipe for a crap life.

Fact is they have not faced the exact obstacles you have, their personality make up will be different and there coping mechanism will have been constructed out a different set of circumstances.

I often find myself falling into the trap of comparing myself to other parents, why can’t I be more like Bob or why can’t I be one of those people that never lose their temper?

It’s almost like saying why can’t I play wing for the All Blacks, sure I have a great side step and depending on how my political leanings are that week I could easily fit on the left or the right wing. The fact is I was not born to play wing for the All Blacks. (Though I still dream about it from time to time).

I was born to be amongst other things passionate, caring, creative, determined, humorous, thoughtful and loyal. The flip sides of those traits are that I’m prone to melancholy, I’m often in my own little world and can get incredibly frustrated and despondent when things don’t go the way I think they should.

The best thing we can do is get better at the things we are good at. This will leave increasingly less space for things we are not good at.